Future x Lil Uzi Vert – Pluto x Baby Pluto
Genre: Hip Hop
Score: 3/10
This is the latest collaborative album between legendary Atlanta heavyweight Future and legendary Philly welterweight Lil Uzi Vert.
What to Expect: Given the current landscape of hip hop, Future and Uzi have proven themselves to be two of the most influential rappers that helped to shape the current landscape of hip hop today. What I enjoy about both, as I do for anyone, are strong performances and well written songs. As long as both of those boxes are checked with me, they can make any topic they talk about sound as exciting and alluring as they claim to be. They can catch an intoxicating and hypnotic vibe very well, and at best, they successfully suspend disbelief while doing so.
Overall: Yeah, they definitely do not do that on this project. So much so, the album becomes a nonstarter in either artist’s catalogue. At best, none of the songs go anywhere near the quality of a DS2 or any “Lil Uzi Vert v the World(s) or Luv is Rage(s). At times, their performances can borderline on tone deafness. Other times, the performances are so half assed that they just sound too high to move. The beats carried the project, but there are still a lot of questionable production choices throughout the record. The deluxe version is even worse, as it’s just a streamtroll of an album. Listening to it will subject yourself to the same redundant frustration that many subpar albums of that length do, all for the sake of raking up extra streams for monetization. I don’t think it’s worth your time.
Play by Play:
1. Stripes Like Berberry – DJ Esco being back on the beat is pretty cool. Glad to see that he’s still around. Uzi’s giving us his empty calorie bars, as is expected. The beat sounds like a cut off of Eternal Atake, with the chiptune synths and the drums. His inflections are strained and irritable. Melodically, he sounds like he’s just trying to throw stuff in the wall to see what sticks. Lyrically, he’s talking about how far he’s made it, and how he has stuff, which is cool, I guess. Future comes in rather questionable. Clearly he’s straining and struggling thru this melody. When he raps melodically he sounds fine but as soon as he whips out the strained singing the song instantly crumbles. “I just popped a bitch like a wheelie” might be also be one of the worst bars I’ve heard this year.
2. Marni on Me – What is the beat? It sounds like I’m watching a chopped a screwed news program and we’re at the top of the hour. This bubbly, glockenspiel like sounding ass syth arpeggio fumbling over the beat is incessant and sloppy. The hook is incessant, the lyrics are random as shit. They say this brand 33 times? We’re seriously trying to recapture Versace’s lightning again (really crappy lighting to capture, for the record)? I push a button, the song’s now deleted.
3. Sleeping on the Floor – This beat sounds like a leftover off of DS2. It’s been 5 years. If we’re revisiting this sound, we need memorable lines and performances, and Future’s coming up short at this point. Still, the beat is pretty well structured and engaging. Uzi does a good job keeping the vibe up. His lyrics aren’t really doing anything for me, but he sounds like he’s having fun. Lyrics were never really why I listen to Uzi after all. I’m in it for his performances. Still, you can’t help but wonder how long they worked on this.
4. Real Baby Pluto – I love the beat. Zaytoven deserves his flowers. He’s a trap producer that you get one time in a genre and one time only. He’s also one of the more talented piano players working in hip hop, and the piano runs all over this track sound incredibly fun. Future and Uzi are at least on their best behavior and they make the song a fun vibe. Save this one for the playlist. I get the most enjoyment when I completely ignore what either rapper is saying and I’m bopping my head to the beat.
5. Drankin n Smokin – Beat is generic and the guitar is pretty weak. Future’s classic toxicity is in full effect on this track, but the performance doesn’t really make it the alluring temptation he’s been known to create. It just comes off a phoned in at this point. The hook is also very weak. Uzi’s basically performing like Future, which just ends up redundant. Future also knows it was Jesus that parted the sea, right? Not Moses? It at least lives up to the title, in that they both just sound too high to move on the track.
6. Mililion Dollar Play – Sweet, another Zaytoven beat. I like the piano runs, along with the lumbering beat and nocturnal bass. It makes a nice groove I haven’t heard either ride on in a while. Uzi’s lyrics are in one ear, out the other, but his flow is way more energetic. This song is way more structured and coherent. I love how catchy their adlibs are. This cut is one of the best songs on the album, but is it the best that either made? Not even close
7. Plastic – I like the sample and how it loops with the beat. Future is creating a hypnotic vibe. This is what Future does best, albeit more minimal than unusual. But he’s painting a very laid back hedonistic vibe that keeps me engaged. Uzi does a good job to match the vibe and the song gets better. The beat could use a charge up by the end, but the vibe is successfully captured on this song. It bumps in the whip.
8. That’s It – Wheezy on the beat I see. The beat is really pretty. Lyrically, they both appeared to have ran out of things to say at least 4 songs ago, so their performances hold more weight to me at this point. Both of them sound very comfortable and they appear to not be doing anything outside of their capabilities. I’m underwhelmed. These melodies just aren’t memorable enough for me to return to this song.
9. Bought a Bad Bitch – Song’s pretty straight forward. Uzi’s performance makes little sense as a part of a song. It’s just random lines about having sex. The hook faceplants. Future has painted this vibe on better songs in the past. I get nothing from this cut that I wouldn’t have gotten from his previous work.
10. Rockstarz Chainz – I like the beat. Sounds like an “introspective” (really observational) Future song. The toxic bars are keeping up with the beat. Does Future even have anyone in mind at this point when he makes these types of songs?
11. Lullaby – He sounds like he’s trying to rap like an inspirational Meek or one of those diary entries that Drake likes to add in his albums. But something is off about this song. It’s like his producer is trying to add a vocal melody to a song as Uzi raps to add more weight to what he’s saying, but Uzi’s not really saying anything of substance as he’s rapping. So now, he’s just singing on top of Uzi rapping. The vocal run sounds slightly distorted and grates against Uzi’s bars. Yeah, this isn’t very good. But at least Uzi’s rhyming.
12. She Never Been to Pluto – Uzi’s sticking to his guns on this one. I’m for it, despite how tried and true the sound is at this point. “I done carried the game I ain’t weak in my legs” unfortunately can’t really be a line I can get behind considering how hard the beat his carrying him, but for argument’s sake, fine Uzi. You’re carrying the game, I guess. Future’s singing also isn’t very good, but at least he’s matching the vibe of the track. It sounds more like he’s featuring on an Uzi track, but the song is structured well enough.
13. Off Dat – Sounds like a cut straight off Purple Rain or the First Luv is Rage. Future and Uzi are both phoned in, but it’s a vibe. In the album’s context, it’s one of the better tracks, but it’s still underwhelming compared to their best work.
14. I Don’t Wanna Break Up – I can only tune out what Uzi’s saying for so long. His lyrics feel like a neverending binge of Skittles and it’s making me sick to my stomach at this point. His performance doesn’t make me want to stick through it a good chunk of the time. But at least Future’s singing is slightly better on this song compared to other tracks. It still feels like I’m searching through a basket of bruised fruit and no matter what I pick, it’ll still be soft and mushy. The hook is the best part.
15. Bankroll – I felt like I’ve heard this song thousands of times already. The beat isn’t very good either tbh. Both of their singing isn’t doing much for me. Yeah, this one can also be skipped.
16. Moment of Clarity – Yeah, I doubt this song will be. But it sounds like Future might be thinking of a thought on it, but I can’t tell from what he’s saying since it’s just random musings about how much money he got and what he’s doing to your girl. The samples are pretty but they’re not dynamic or change up from one part to another. It makes the song grow stale. This album isn’t it.
Score: 3/10
Favorite Track in Bold
Just my opinion